The 3 Most Common Mistakes Hypnotists Make in Building Rapport
The ability to have great rapport with your subjects is one of the first tools you will encounter needing as a hypnotist. Common mistakes made in this area are hard to identify as ‘mistakes’ unless you are aware of what they are.
The first most common mistake made is simply trying to be too nice. Of course you should be nice to people. But there is a point in time in certain relationships when the line must be drawn.
In order to develop a deep rapport with people you need to have full communication. This means that everything that needs to be said must be said, even if it is unpleasant. Not having full communication can disable you from sharing important thoughts, ideas and feelings.
The basic rule to follow here is to be nice but not at the expense of real communication. Say what needs to be said. If you do not the rapport will break down and a barrier will start to go up.
Most people have experienced one end or the other of trying to be too nice. One example is we are often too busy with politeness to show our true selves.
The other end of the spectrum is we encounter people who are trying too hard to be nice to us. Either way you look at it, a wall is constructed and these people remain casual acquaintances. We often have the same exact conversations with these people and never truly build a lasting rapport with them because there is no real communication happening.
The second mistake that is often made when attempting to build rapport is trying too hard. Yes this is closely related to the first mistake. When we try too hard we send signals of desperation. It shows that we are too eager to please or desperate for company.
No one likes to be surrounded with desperate people. The air of desperation often causes those around it to feel obligated or under a lot of pressure. Both of these feelings can completely shut down communication.
Trying too hard is a mistake that can lead to the “Law of Reversed Effect”. The “Law of Reversed Effect” means the harder you try, the more likely you will fail. This is because you are actually interfering with the unconscious process.
When you try too hard you are not falling into a gentle rhythm where rapport is produced you are trying to force a relationship that is not ready yet. Maintaining a sense of what needs to happen to create rapport is essential to your success.
Once you recognize what needs to happen you should let your unconscious take over and implement the steps itself. ‘Instant rapport technique’ will help with this later in another article.
The third mistake that is common in hypnosis is to want something from someone too much. This mistake is again closely related to the first two mistakes.
When we want something too much we often become pushy and overwhelming, especially so to the subconscious. Once an individual has pushed too much their counterpart will back off or become disinterested. Salesmen encounter this often.
There is a solution for this. ‘Fractionating rapport’ will help you to pace yourself in the amount of intimacy you seek. In fractionation you work on building a little rapport and then leave it alone for a while. Let the subject come and re-engage you. Each time you repeat the process you will be digging deeper and deeper into a comfort zone and building a strong rapport with the person.
This technique keep people in their comfort zones, and you are only stretching that zone a little each time you go through the motions. Soon conversation, give and take, push and pull will become a natural and familiar habit.
Being too nice to people, trying too hard and wanting something too much, all have simple solutions to help you become successful.
If you are being too nice to your subjects, stop and remember there is a point at which you must stop being nice to save the rapport.
If you are trying too hard with your subjects implement the ‘instant rapport technique’. This will allow the unconscious to send the normal rapport signals to you through your subject.
And if you want something too much, stop doing it and use fractionation. Soon over a small amount of time you will have built many steps to great rapport.
Being aware of these three common mistakes in building rapport will help you to not only avoid them but to improve you hypnosis skills further.
For more information please visit http://www.conversational-hypnosis.com